Sleepless nights

Recently we are having trouble sleeping. With our working hours, our biological clock has gone haywired. Lately we'll come home after work feeling dead tired. We'll sleep early, but we always end up waking up at around 3am. We don't know why, but this is starting to annoy us.

Perhaps we need to take a break. Maybe we're feeling really burned out. And it starts to show in our workplace. Which is not a good sign.

We're thinking of an island vacation in January next year. Somewhere tropical. With trees, beach, and booze. Just a short trip, enough to re-charge. We love going to beaches. Especially beaches with cute guys running around. The thought of that cheered us up a little.

Something like this. Yummy.

So far, our top three most memorable island vacations are Goa, Koh Samui, and Phuket. The beach clubs and pubs are one of the places we'd definitely visit. Nothing beats dancing the night away and drinking the delicious island cocktails.

Saw a youtube video recently. How we wish someday a guy would say those things to us.

 

How sweet was that? And Harry Shum Jr...... drool...... OMG!

 

 

God save us.

 



On Life...Change...Growing up

16th June 2012

This is the day of the turning point of my life. Another milestone. A life-changing milestone. It's a date I wish to remember, forever, even-if-I-have-dementia forever. If I were to tattoo a date to my body, this would be it. It's THAT big.

I can't go into the specifics due to various reasons. And I resent that. But know this, it's a good thing.

Ok lets talk about something I can talk about.

Father's Day.

I used to have a great relationship with my father. Duh, only son in a chinese family. Not to mention I'm the ONLY male descendent in our extended family that supposed to carry and pass down the family name. You see, there are only 2 males amongst my father's too-many-to-count siblings. My father and my uncle. My uncle had 2 daughters. I don't have a brother. So you see, they all depended on me to carry the family name. And the Chinese takes it very seriously about the family name. So I'm kinda screwed. But whatever. Lets not dwell on it at the moment.

But I digressed.

Something happened when I was 4 - 5 years old that changed the dynamic of my relationship with my father. I had a little trouble in potty-training when I was little. So every night my father would wake me up and bring me to the toilet to pee. I guess that particular night my father was in a horrible mood, and he always had a foul temper to begin with, and I was being a nuisance not wanting to wake up. That night, he was so furious, he took the cane (or was it a belt?) and started hitting me as hard as he could. Even my mother couldn't stop him. I still remember after the incident, my mother was crying while applying cooling salve on my skin. That's the night I started distancing myself from him. I could never bring myself to be close to him anymore.

I don't think any of my sisters knew about the incident. And I've never talked about it before. Ever. Now I feel kinda relieved to be finally able to write about it. Letting it out.

I don't talk much to my father unless it's necessary and only when I couldn't avoid it. Like on Father's day, for example. Or on his birthday. My mother expects me to call him and wish him, and I always keep the conversation short. These are only the few occasions that I talk to him. I just don't know what to say to him anymore.

Don't get me wrong. I don't hate him. I just don't love him the way I should, the way any son should.

So here it goes. Happy Father's Day, father.

Saw this on facebook. Immensely hilarious. And creative.

Of blind date

W: What do you think of that girl?
Me: Er... she's cute.
W: Well, she's single.
Me: Ok.
W: And you're single. She stays near your place.
*Alarms ringing* *Warning: RUN RUN RUN*
Me: No you're not doing this, woman!
W: Why not? Here's her number. Take it. Call her.
Me: ........

W is a colleague of mine, happily married with 2 kids, whom I've grown quite close to. I suppose many of you have gone through and experienced this kind of conversation one way or another. But aren't you just sick of it repeating again and again? I know I am.

Of course if my friend is setting up a blind for me with a guy, I'll probably go for it (Gosh aren't I desperate?!), but the date is a girl. I'm still not ready to come out yet, that's why my friends and colleagues still think that I'm straight. And setting up dates for me with the wrong gender! Grrr...... How do you politely decline such a thing? What is the socially acceptable way to refuse the date? And W has already tested the water by hinting to that girl about me. That poor girl probably expects me to call her soon. Drat.

On another note, my mom has been bugging me to go home for past few weeks. She's calling me every single day asking me when I'm coming home or have I bought the tickets. My answer was always 'soon'. Sigh.... guess I can't avoid it forever. Of course, whenever I go home, the question of my single-hood would come up. I just have to brace myself for the routine interrogations and prepare a well-versed answers.

Came across this. Thought it was damn funny. A straight guy's dilemma. LOL...

Attached yet single?

I feel so suffocated these days. Don't know why. Probably because the loneliness is creeping up on me and choking me.

So I was chatting with this guy Zack this morning. Charming chap. Stayed not too far away from me. Cute. Mixed chinese portugese ethnicity. *gasp*. Spoke good English. He wanted to hook up. I was skeptical. After all I was just starting to get to know him. It went quite well until he said, "I need to be honest with you," Jeng jeng... Alarms went crazy in my head. It was never a good news when someone said that.

Zack: I'm bi. And I have a gf.

I was like, wait say whattt? I went quiet for a while trying to process that information.

Me: Damn damn fuck fuck fuck!!

Zack: Why are you so upset? You can't accept that I'm bi?

Me: No, I just can't accept that you have a gf.

Zack: To be honest, I am just looking for a permanent cock sucker (his words, not mine).

Me: Why can't you go play with your gf then?

Zack: Because she's a virgin.

Me: I'm sorry but I don't hook up with men in a relationships. I don't like complications. And hooking up with you would definitely attract complications.

OMFG, what is wrong with these people???! I can't understand people who are attached, and yet still acted like they are available. Get the fuck away and don't waste my time. Assholes.

Ok so I was quite grateful that he was honest enough to tell me that he wasn't exactly 'available'. Some people didn't even have the decency to do that until it was too late and you fell head over heels over them.

I know, I know, he was only looking to hookup and not some permanent long term relationship like the rest of us (ahem me), but who knows what will happen next? I mean if we have chemistry and passion, maybe, just maybe, it might lead somewhere. Wishful thinking?

** Edit** I think I sent out the wrong message at the last paragraph there. I would never, ever, not in a million years, not if he's the last man on earth, hookup with someone who is in a relationship. What I meant was, hooking up with someone just for 'ahem' sex, but hoping that it will turn out to be more than casual sex, i.e. long term relationship.

Sexy slaves... where to get those?

I'm so tired... Recently I've been working like a slave. I'm working almost 84 hours a week, which is ridiculous. I don't even have time for fun anymore. It's just work, eat, sleep, wake up, work, eat, sleep...... Even slaves in the ancient Roman republic had time for some fun, at least from what I saw from the tv series 'Spartacus'. Gosh it's totally a softcore porn if you ask me. Their bodies.....speechless. The show is literally filled with sexy men parading their hot bodies in the tiniest loincloth, leaving nothing to imagination. Sometimes we even get to see a full frontal, albeit for a few heavenly seconds. Ever wonder how amazing it would be to own so many beautifully sculpted slaves who will obey your every command? But I digressed, see my mind is not even working right!

Back to the real life, it's Mother's day today! Happy Mother's day to all mothers! We may not turn out to be what you've expected, but I hope we can still make you proud. Bought dozens of flowers for my mother. Couldn't give it to her personally, so had them sent over. Received a call early in the morning from my mother thanking me. Love that woman to bits. :)

Nothing to update on my love life. Still accepting applications for those who are interested. Send in a form with your details, an attached full length photo (nude pics get extra brownie points, LOL), and a 500-word essay on your attributes and why you want to date me. HahHahaha...... just kidding..

No time to work out... shit, getting out of shape.

See I can't keep a single train of thoughts. Feel so sleepy. *yawn*

Straight Roommate = No Sex life

I have a roommate. Sometimes when some people say that they are staying with a roommate, they actually mean a housemate, as in sharing an apartment, but in different rooms. But no, I literally have a roommate, staying in the same room. The accomodation is provided by my work place, so I'm like 'cincai la'...

Of course he is straight. *rolleyes* If you throw a stone, nine out of ten you will hit a straight guys right? (Of course not if you throw it at a gay club or gay parade lah!!!!)

Let me just make myself clear, I don't have a crush at him, not even a little bit. Don't get me wrong, he is a good looking dude and all, tall, dark, charming, cute smiles. But somehow I'm just not attracted to him. That's a good thing, or else our living arrangement might not work out. Imagine lusting after a straight roomie! How to control yourself everyday night right?

I have a very weird relationship with him. We are very comfortable with each other, as comfortable two dudes with platonic friendship can be with each other. But I don't bond well with him. You might think that living with someone, you will definitely be very close to that person. We are not like that at all. We don't go out for meals together. He has his own circle of friends, and I have mine. Basically, we don't hang out outside of our room.

I guess the problem with having a roommate is the lack of privacy. Say I have a need to masturbate, I usually would have to do it when he's asleep or he's out somewhere (I really don't like jerking off in the toilet.) Like right now, when he's sleeping 10 feet away from me, I have to be really, really quiet if I want to play with myself. Obviously it's impossible to hook up with someone in my room either. That's why my sex life has really suffered a great deal. I kinda wonder how about his? We never talk about sex and stuff (because you just don't talk to straight dude about stuff like that!). I never caught him playing with himself though. No suspiciously long showers as well. I don't find strange girls leaving our room. So either he is scoring at some other places, or he has been doing it while I'm asleep as well. Kinda hot now that I really think about it.

Okay gotta go jerk off quietly now. Shhh.... he's asleep.

Gosh I DESPERATELY need to get my own place soon!




Oooppsss.... sorry.