Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Age, appearance..... and stalker!

People always commented that I look younger than my actual age. Today, a guy remarked that I looked like 21 - 22 years old. Whoops! (Of course, he might be just flirting with me. He did slipped his number to me. Hmm...) I was flattered, of course I was. Few years back I would've felt annoyed by that. But now that I'm older, I'm just relieved that I don't look my age (Not that I'm already some old ah pek mind you, just that I'm no longer the twink age).

I guess I just have the naturally boyish look. (Don't hate me for that! =P)

On another note, I need to find a new gym now that I've moved. Hopefully I can find one with lots of hotties. Haha... slutty me.

Found a stalker pic in my phone of the gym Adonis from my old gym, that I mentioned in my previous post here. Let you guys cuci mata as well. You can thank me later. A basket of chocolates would suffice.

I'm not sure if the above picture did him justice. Pardon the bad quality and the horrendous picture-taking skill. I was trying to be discreet. Blerrgh.... blurry face. Really, he was so much more good looking!! I think he's straight though. But don't trust my gaydar.

So how old do you think he is?

Sunday, June 24, 2012

New chapter

There are going to be some changes in my life soon. Actually, the change has already begun.

I have to relocate to another place soon for my work. It's a place less 'developed' than where I'm living right now. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it. Regardless how I felt about it, I still need to go.

They say change is good. I'm trying to convince myself that. The darn thing is that positive thinking is not my strong suit. I'm a pessimist by nature.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not sad. Some part of me is excited. But another is afraid of the uncertainty. However, that's the good thing about being young. You still get to explore life, trying out new things, making mistakes and learning from them. If you don't do it now, when will you?

I'm going to leave this place that I called 'home' for these past 2 years. I knew it was temporary when I first moved here, of course I knew that. I can't help but forming attachments to this place. After all, I'm only human.

The change was a fairly short notice. I'm to move to this new place by next tomorrow. These few days had been a whirlwind of packing and unpacking. It's a wonder how I could've collected so much junks over the span of 2 years.

Oh and I found a gorgeous double-storey house to rent as well. It is spacious and really breathtaking, and comes with a fairly reasonable price. Needless to say, I'm immensely excited to move in there.

This is a good thing.

This is a good thing.

I'm sure if I say that often enough, I'll start believing it.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

On Life...Change...Growing up

16th June 2012

This is the day of the turning point of my life. Another milestone. A life-changing milestone. It's a date I wish to remember, forever, even-if-I-have-dementia forever. If I were to tattoo a date to my body, this would be it. It's THAT big.

I can't go into the specifics due to various reasons. And I resent that. But know this, it's a good thing.

Ok lets talk about something I can talk about.

Father's Day.

I used to have a great relationship with my father. Duh, only son in a chinese family. Not to mention I'm the ONLY male descendent in our extended family that supposed to carry and pass down the family name. You see, there are only 2 males amongst my father's too-many-to-count siblings. My father and my uncle. My uncle had 2 daughters. I don't have a brother. So you see, they all depended on me to carry the family name. And the Chinese takes it very seriously about the family name. So I'm kinda screwed. But whatever. Lets not dwell on it at the moment.

But I digressed.

Something happened when I was 4 - 5 years old that changed the dynamic of my relationship with my father. I had a little trouble in potty-training when I was little. So every night my father would wake me up and bring me to the toilet to pee. I guess that particular night my father was in a horrible mood, and he always had a foul temper to begin with, and I was being a nuisance not wanting to wake up. That night, he was so furious, he took the cane (or was it a belt?) and started hitting me as hard as he could. Even my mother couldn't stop him. I still remember after the incident, my mother was crying while applying cooling salve on my skin. That's the night I started distancing myself from him. I could never bring myself to be close to him anymore.

I don't think any of my sisters knew about the incident. And I've never talked about it before. Ever. Now I feel kinda relieved to be finally able to write about it. Letting it out.

I don't talk much to my father unless it's necessary and only when I couldn't avoid it. Like on Father's day, for example. Or on his birthday. My mother expects me to call him and wish him, and I always keep the conversation short. These are only the few occasions that I talk to him. I just don't know what to say to him anymore.

Don't get me wrong. I don't hate him. I just don't love him the way I should, the way any son should.

So here it goes. Happy Father's Day, father.

Saw this on facebook. Immensely hilarious. And creative.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Online crushes

Recently a friend brutally pointed out the molds that started growing at one corner of my blog. Of course I noticed that. I just pretended not to. I'm not even going to give excuses. So here I am. Cleaning up molds.

On another note, can you have a crush on someone that you've never met before?

I was talking quite a lot to this guy I knew online recently. Everyday we are growing closer and more comfortable with each other. Everyday, we are sharing a little bit more of ourselves with each other. We talk about everything, and nothing.

I know it's stupid.

He's so far away. We haven't even met yet. I don't exactly know how he looks like (although I've seen a picture of him, but reality can be so different right?). He's coming down from KL on this weekend for work. He asked me out for dinner. I wanted to accept but kind of hesitant. Partly because I didn't want to lose that fantasy. And what if I really like this guy? I don't think I can handle long distance relationship. Can LDR really survive?

Saturday, June 9, 2012


As I was randomly flipping through the April issue of TIME magazine today I came across an article entitled 'Frozen Assets'. Initially I thought it was going to be another boring article regarding finance and investments and whatnot. Boy was I wrong. I was really intrigued by what the author had to say.

The article was actually about how the US had the fastest growing sperm bank business in the world. It was also becoming one of the most lucrative business as well. A healthy man with a college degree, with a height of more than 176cm, can earn up to $60 per ejaculation. Wow! And the 'donors' were profiled according to their height, appearance and education level. So, the 'inferior' specimen gets lower pay. A donor with good quality goods can earn up to $60,000 over the span of 2 years.

This made me thinking, would I do such a thing for money? Or even if not for money, lets say I do it out of the kindness of my heart to help out those poor couples out there yearning for children but unable due to various reasons, would I still do it?

For me, the answer would be 'no'. I don't think I want to father a child / children without ever knowing who they are, or how they are being brought up. And I don't want to have to wonder, when I am walking down the streets 20 years from now and bumped into a familiar face, whether he/she is actually a product from my loin.

I suppose some gays out there might be thinking that this is one of the ways for them to 'procreate'. And they would be right. If you don't ever, ever want to get married to the opposite sex, how else can you make sure you actually leave something behind, a mark if you will to signify your existence, when you leave this earth?

Of course, this raises so many social, ethical, and moral issues that I won't even go into.

So the question of the day is, would you consider to be a sperm donor?

John Abraham produced a movie called 'Vicky Donor' which dealt with the issue of sperm donors. Isn't he just too yummy?

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Of blind date

W: What do you think of that girl?
Me: Er... she's cute.
W: Well, she's single.
Me: Ok.
W: And you're single. She stays near your place.
*Alarms ringing* *Warning: RUN RUN RUN*
Me: No you're not doing this, woman!
W: Why not? Here's her number. Take it. Call her.
Me: ........

W is a colleague of mine, happily married with 2 kids, whom I've grown quite close to. I suppose many of you have gone through and experienced this kind of conversation one way or another. But aren't you just sick of it repeating again and again? I know I am.

Of course if my friend is setting up a blind for me with a guy, I'll probably go for it (Gosh aren't I desperate?!), but the date is a girl. I'm still not ready to come out yet, that's why my friends and colleagues still think that I'm straight. And setting up dates for me with the wrong gender! Grrr...... How do you politely decline such a thing? What is the socially acceptable way to refuse the date? And W has already tested the water by hinting to that girl about me. That poor girl probably expects me to call her soon. Drat.

On another note, my mom has been bugging me to go home for past few weeks. She's calling me every single day asking me when I'm coming home or have I bought the tickets. My answer was always 'soon'. Sigh.... guess I can't avoid it forever. Of course, whenever I go home, the question of my single-hood would come up. I just have to brace myself for the routine interrogations and prepare a well-versed answers.

Came across this. Thought it was damn funny. A straight guy's dilemma. LOL...

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Teen adults

Recently I got to know a 17-year-old boy from a social network site. God knows what he was doing there at that time. His profile said 21 years old. He requested to chat with me and I thought 'Why not?'.

So as we were chatting (purely platonic conversation, mind you), he told me that he was actually 17. At that point I started to feel quite uncomfortable. Although we never talk about anything sexual, still the circumstances that introduced us was making me doubt that I should continue chatting with him. We talked about his school, studies, his future plans and stuff. I told him upfront that I was never going to hookup with him. After he turned 18, maybe. Even that was quite young for me. So I said we can only be friends. Period. He agreed.

I don't know, I never met someone that young from an obviously adult social site. Was I wrong to continue chatting with him? He wanted to continue chatting with me the next day. I said I'll see if I'm free. I guess I was still a bit hesitant, although I kept the conversation clean. I know he was a good kid who was just curious. Weren't we all at that age? Therefore I was quite worried for him. He kept asking me not to treat him like a kid. But the matter of the fact was, he WAS still a kid. 17 years old is hardly a grown-up.

Should I continue befriend him, if we agree to be just friends? Or is this a huge mistake?