Thursday, May 31, 2012

Sex bomb indeed

Came across this video recently. It's a clip from Australia Got Talent (Seriously is every country making this show now?) Anyway, this sexy guy chose to sing and strip dance. Gosh that body, just makes you go crazy and all hot and bothered. Don't you just want to lick all over that body?

What I want to say is, some guys are just so confident that they can carry out an act like that without looking like a fool. They can make it sexy. Fun. Attractive even. How do they do that? Of course one main reason is to have THAT body. And face. The singing wasn't great. But who cares right? None of us were really listening to him anyway.

"Have you got a sock tucked down there"
"No I don't,"
"That's all legit?"
"That's a lil' inappropriate bro,"


Do you think you have the guts to ever do something like that in front of hundreds of people? I know I don't.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Attached yet single?

I feel so suffocated these days. Don't know why. Probably because the loneliness is creeping up on me and choking me.

So I was chatting with this guy Zack this morning. Charming chap. Stayed not too far away from me. Cute. Mixed chinese portugese ethnicity. *gasp*. Spoke good English. He wanted to hook up. I was skeptical. After all I was just starting to get to know him. It went quite well until he said, "I need to be honest with you," Jeng jeng... Alarms went crazy in my head. It was never a good news when someone said that.

Zack: I'm bi. And I have a gf.

I was like, wait say whattt? I went quiet for a while trying to process that information.

Me: Damn damn fuck fuck fuck!!

Zack: Why are you so upset? You can't accept that I'm bi?

Me: No, I just can't accept that you have a gf.

Zack: To be honest, I am just looking for a permanent cock sucker (his words, not mine).

Me: Why can't you go play with your gf then?

Zack: Because she's a virgin.

Me: I'm sorry but I don't hook up with men in a relationships. I don't like complications. And hooking up with you would definitely attract complications.

OMFG, what is wrong with these people???! I can't understand people who are attached, and yet still acted like they are available. Get the fuck away and don't waste my time. Assholes.

Ok so I was quite grateful that he was honest enough to tell me that he wasn't exactly 'available'. Some people didn't even have the decency to do that until it was too late and you fell head over heels over them.

I know, I know, he was only looking to hookup and not some permanent long term relationship like the rest of us (ahem me), but who knows what will happen next? I mean if we have chemistry and passion, maybe, just maybe, it might lead somewhere. Wishful thinking?

** Edit** I think I sent out the wrong message at the last paragraph there. I would never, ever, not in a million years, not if he's the last man on earth, hookup with someone who is in a relationship. What I meant was, hooking up with someone just for 'ahem' sex, but hoping that it will turn out to be more than casual sex, i.e. long term relationship.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Courage for LOVE

God knows why I woke up so early today on a Saturday morning when I don't have to go to work. Ugh..... Anyway, since I was awake, I decided to have breakfast in bed, with the delicious almond chocolate mousse cake that I bought yesterday, while watching Gossip Girl DVD, alone (sigh.... why wasn't there a hunk sleeping next to me??). Seriously, all these back-stabbing, cheating, constant lying borderline pathologically, really fascinated me. There must be something wrong with me.

Of course, one of the reasons that drew me back to the show again and again had to be the gorgeous Chace Crawford. He had the most symmetrical face, and those piercing blue eyes.... *drool*

You tell me, how can anyone not drawn to this??!
After I took a shower, I decided to hit the gym. There wasn't that many people around there, probably because most of the population were still recovering from the Friday night craziness.

Of course, as usual my wandering eyes caught this other guy who was also working out there. He had a more down-to-earth kind of good looks instead of the gorgeous Adonis model-like kind that was mention in my previous post. Well-toned body, not too buff, average height. Boy-next-door type of guy. There were only three guys, including me, and two girls working out at that time. The other guy wasn't worth mentioning (I'm such a bitch I know!), so most of the time, I was stealing glances at him. I thought I saw him glancing at me a few times too (or could be my delusion kicking in. What's new?). A few times I had a sudden impulse to approach him, but just couldn't bring myself to. Ugh...... why couldn't he just stop being so stubborn and just come grab me and kiss me senseless already?!! lolllll

Done with gym, I went for lunch at the nearby restaurant. Ordered a spicy noodles (麻辣版面) which turned out to be tooo spicy. I only ate a few bites because no mortals can tolerate that shit without burning their tongue. I still need my taste buds for sex. Among other things. Usually I don't have a habit of wasting food, but for this instance, I had to.

Hmm.... what shall I do tonight?

Piglet : How do you spell love?
Winnie the Pooh : You don't spell it. You feel it!

Friday, May 25, 2012

Bigger guns = Tops?

I always wonder, is it true that in sex, guys with bigger pricks will always be tops, and vice versa, guys with smaller tools will always be bottom?

Most of the time that is the case in adult film. But does it apply to real life as well? Of course bigger tools will provide more satisfaction and sexual gratification to the bottoms. But what if a guy with smaller tool enjoys being a top too?

What I feel is that prick sizes are irrelevant to the positions. It's just that some less fortunate guys with smaller tool size may find it hard to find a partner that can enjoy their god-given gift. People say that sizes don't matter, it's how you use what you are given that matters. Skills are more important in bed. But still we are living in a society where sizes are constantly at the front of our minds. When you seek for casual hookups, be it from Grindr, Jack'd etc, the conversation on prick size would definitely come up.

I say it's time we stop obsessing about sizes guys.
(Of course it is easier said than done. Who doesn't want a bigger prick?)

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Eat, pray, love... minus love. and pray.

This week I'm a bit less busy. Back to my usual 60-hour per week working time. So more time for gymming, swimming, reading, blogging, shopping, masturbating, surfing(net not waves), sleeping, fine-dining, bla bla bla.......

Saw these two guys at gym today. One of the guys was wearing a white wife-beater and lifted his arms for stretching. So his friend pointed at his armpit and commented that his shaved armpit already growing some hair and needed a shave. Then they proceeded to compare each other's armpits. Gay? Or just bromance?

Couple of people from work fell sick. Really cannot tahan the sneezing and coughing all over. They better not spread their germs this way or someone is going to get a massive bitch slap.

Started reading back this book by my favourite author John Grisham(other than Sidney Sheldon) that I've neglected for quite some time. It's called 'The Confession' (Nothing about gays or gays coming out or gays going into confession!) It's my travel companion actually. A book that I always bring along when travelling or going for holiday. Sadly, it's not as captivating as his other books, so I'm having a hard time finishing it. I'm already half way through it, so I don't want to just give up. Once in a while I'll pick it up and plough through it. With a glass of red wine of course.

Yay! Getting my salary again tomorrow. Time for some splurging! And reward myself for........... erm......... hmmmm..........well........ actually can't think of reason, but I just know there's a GOOD reason I should be treating myself to a shopping spree. (Of course I tell that to myself every month. LOL!)

Oh and I'm going to try catching this new movie 'Dark Shadows' directed by Tim Burton, with Johnny Depp and Michelle Pfeiffer in it. Trailer and casts looked amazing. It's a comedy horror film. Has anyone seen it yet? No spoilers please!!!

Monday, May 21, 2012

Sunday night action

I was feeling particularly bored on a Sunday night. So I decided to hit the gay bar in town. Not exactly looking for a hookup, just to kill some time. (Of course at the back of my mind I knew if there was a cute guy approaching me, I would not send him away. What? I'm not crazy!)

So back to the story, I went to this bar that I've heard so much over the net. Apparently it was where the gay crowd gathered. As I entered the dimly lit bar, I was quite disappointed. The bar was fairly empty for a weekend. The crowd was mainly in their 20s with one or two......daddies.

I ordered a beer for myself. I'm not a beer person, I'm more of vodka, cocktail kinda person. But  apparently the bartender didn't even know what was vodka lime. Seriously? *Faint* So I went with a beer instead.

There was only one guy that caught my eye. The rest was.... not really my type. Unfortunately he was with his three other friends. And they only stayed for a while.

The pub was a karaoke pub, where customers picked their songs and sung it to the whole bar. There were surprisingly quite a few good voices there. I enjoyed some of their singing.

After I finished my beer, I decided it was time to leave. I went to the washroom to take a leak. One guy followed me in there. I was feeling quite uncomfortable, so I chose the cubicle instead of the common urinal. When I exited the cubicle, I noticed that the guy was still hanging around at the sink. He gave me a smile and asked me if I was leaving already, while fondling my waist and back. He wasn't really my type, so I just smiled and nodded, and left quickly. If I was horny I would have stayed around. But I wasn't. Luckily he wasn't persistent.

Probably not going back there again. Unless I'm REALLY desperate. Hope it doesn't come to that. lolll...


No such thing here. Damn!

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Blow me.... or my whistle

Have anyone heard of the new Flo-rida song "Whistle"? Here's a part of the song.

Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Let me know
Girl I'm gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow
You just put your lips together
And you come real close
Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Here we go

Go girl you can work it
Let me see your whistle while you work it
I'mma lay it back, don't stop it
Cause I love it how you drop it, drop it, drop it, on me
Now, shorty let that whistle blow
Yeah, baby let that whistle blow

It's really a catchy song. But it's also so full of sexual innuendos I can't imagine how on earth they would play it on national radio. Of course they didn't use any censored words directly, so maybe people with no imaginations might not get it, so they are cool. But I actually laughed out loud when I first heard it on a Singapore radio station. Totally love it how they are not afraid to sing whatever song they want, and people with stick up their asses can just accept it or just fuck off.

Have a listen at it. Let me know what you think.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Eye candy

So after i finished my night shift today, I went home for a nap. After I woke up, I decided to go for a swim since I haven't had a chance to workout for quite some time due to my busy schedule. Unfortunately(or fortunately, you'll understand if you read further), the swimming pool was closed for repair. Since I had nothing better to do, I decided to hit the gym. I've always wanted to check out this fairly new gym near my area.

The gym was established just roughly a year back. After paying $10 for entrance fee, I proceeded to keep my stuff in the locker provided. The equipments were fairly new. And there was already a crowd working out there.

And man, what a crowd they were! So THIS was where all the hot guys hang out. My, my this was exactly a gay man's fantasy. Everywhere I looked, there were hunks with sculpted bodies milling about. It was really distracting. I decided to hit the treadmill first to warm up, and of course to ogle at the gorgeous men. The temperature there was indeed rising (or was it due to lack of air-conditioning?). All the while I was thinking, damn, I really couldn't make out who is gay and who is not! Hahaha...

There were too many cute guys there. But one guy that definitely caught my eyes was this hunk in a wife-beater(which you can make out his very prominent nipples), with a chiseled face, and the MOST amazing, gorgeous, impressive, jaw-dropping, breathtaking(well you get my point) body you can ever imagined. And when he smiles, dimples! Not to mentioned he was tall too, definitely more than 6ft. You can see clearly the pecs, tight abs and huge biceps. He wasn't entirely too muscular with bulging scary muscles everywhere, but just the right amount of muscles to take your breath away. That guy could be a model! I did noticed that he grabbed quite a few other gymers' attentions too.

Anyway, I wanted to snap some stalker pics, but the gym was covered top-to-bottom with bloody mirrors everywhere. I was sure that if I started snapping photos here and there, I was probably going to get bashed up at the back alley when I was leaving. lolll... I could never be as discreet or talented as some of the other bloggers (you know who you are!).

After I finished working out (hey I did some workout too, not just cuci mata k!), man was I sore all over! That must be my punishment for not working out more often. And as I was leaving, another three obviously foreign gorgeous men entered (I thought they looked middle-eastern, minus the horrible Osama beard.) Had to drag my feet outta there.

Guess who is going to the gym more often after this?

Of course, I wasted all my workout with Roti canai at the local mamak stall nearby.

Not him.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Random Hookups.... Down, boy....down!

Well, I did something bad. Not exactly bad, just.....unexpected I suppose you could say. I was feeling so horny that I hooked up with someone random. He was slightly older, cute, around my height but stockier, had this gorgeous tattoo over his left biceps, and the cutest smile ever. It was purely a physical thing, because we really don't have much common in the emotional or intellectual level. I'm such a slut! I know that. The fact is, I rarely do things like that, but sometimes we guys have needs! Sounds like I'm defending myself, but I don't really feel guilty about it. I know I should, but I just don't. I must be wired differently than the rest of the population I think.

And this guy, he was really good in bed. I mean REALLY good. He must have read the entire Kama Sutra, because he knew so many positions and what turned me on. He took his time with foreplay, stimulating me with his gifted mouth and tongue. Usually tops play a dominant role in bed, but not in this case. He was like, ok I like this, flips, then change position, flips again, continue. I mean it was really something. Hahhaahah...... I almost couldn't keep up with him. lolll....

He's definitely not a bf material. So I don't know whether I should keep up with this since I know it's not going anywhere. He is just, pardon me, a fuck buddy. We are just helping each other out. Casual hookups are really not my thing. But sometimes I just need the intimacies with another human being, in the physical sense. Is it wrong?

Totally irrelevant to my post, just thought that he's super dreamy.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Sexy slaves... where to get those?

I'm so tired... Recently I've been working like a slave. I'm working almost 84 hours a week, which is ridiculous. I don't even have time for fun anymore. It's just work, eat, sleep, wake up, work, eat, sleep...... Even slaves in the ancient Roman republic had time for some fun, at least from what I saw from the tv series 'Spartacus'. Gosh it's totally a softcore porn if you ask me. Their bodies.....speechless. The show is literally filled with sexy men parading their hot bodies in the tiniest loincloth, leaving nothing to imagination. Sometimes we even get to see a full frontal, albeit for a few heavenly seconds. Ever wonder how amazing it would be to own so many beautifully sculpted slaves who will obey your every command? But I digressed, see my mind is not even working right!

Back to the real life, it's Mother's day today! Happy Mother's day to all mothers! We may not turn out to be what you've expected, but I hope we can still make you proud. Bought dozens of flowers for my mother. Couldn't give it to her personally, so had them sent over. Received a call early in the morning from my mother thanking me. Love that woman to bits. :)

Nothing to update on my love life. Still accepting applications for those who are interested. Send in a form with your details, an attached full length photo (nude pics get extra brownie points, LOL), and a 500-word essay on your attributes and why you want to date me. HahHahaha...... just kidding..

No time to work out... shit, getting out of shape.

See I can't keep a single train of thoughts. Feel so sleepy. *yawn*

Friday, May 11, 2012

Straight Roommate = No Sex life

I have a roommate. Sometimes when some people say that they are staying with a roommate, they actually mean a housemate, as in sharing an apartment, but in different rooms. But no, I literally have a roommate, staying in the same room. The accomodation is provided by my work place, so I'm like 'cincai la'...

Of course he is straight. *rolleyes* If you throw a stone, nine out of ten you will hit a straight guys right? (Of course not if you throw it at a gay club or gay parade lah!!!!)

Let me just make myself clear, I don't have a crush at him, not even a little bit. Don't get me wrong, he is a good looking dude and all, tall, dark, charming, cute smiles. But somehow I'm just not attracted to him. That's a good thing, or else our living arrangement might not work out. Imagine lusting after a straight roomie! How to control yourself everyday night right?

I have a very weird relationship with him. We are very comfortable with each other, as comfortable two dudes with platonic friendship can be with each other. But I don't bond well with him. You might think that living with someone, you will definitely be very close to that person. We are not like that at all. We don't go out for meals together. He has his own circle of friends, and I have mine. Basically, we don't hang out outside of our room.

I guess the problem with having a roommate is the lack of privacy. Say I have a need to masturbate, I usually would have to do it when he's asleep or he's out somewhere (I really don't like jerking off in the toilet.) Like right now, when he's sleeping 10 feet away from me, I have to be really, really quiet if I want to play with myself. Obviously it's impossible to hook up with someone in my room either. That's why my sex life has really suffered a great deal. I kinda wonder how about his? We never talk about sex and stuff (because you just don't talk to straight dude about stuff like that!). I never caught him playing with himself though. No suspiciously long showers as well. I don't find strange girls leaving our room. So either he is scoring at some other places, or he has been doing it while I'm asleep as well. Kinda hot now that I really think about it.

Okay gotta go jerk off quietly now. Shhh.... he's asleep.

Gosh I DESPERATELY need to get my own place soon!

Oooppsss.... sorry.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Breaking free...

For the past 2 years I've been staying at this metropolitan city that I've chosen to settle down. I made a choice 2 years ago to leave my family home, and journeyed South to embark on a new life, away from my family that I felt was shackling me, holding me back. I was suffocating, yet no one knew. They were puzzled by my decision at first, but finally accepted it and gave me their blessings. Deep down, I knew they longed for me to stay. Despite that, they never voiced it out. For that I'm relieved. Because if they did asked me to stay, I would have, and I would grow to resent that decision, or resent them for taking that choice out of my hand.

Now, I'm happy and falling in love with this town a little bit more every day. I know it is not perfect, and it has its own flaws, but I still love it anyway. I know it's only temporary, as my work would eventually need me to move to another place sooner or later, but for now, I'm contented.

Years ago, I thought of migrating to another country, Australia to be exact. I wanted to take a course there, and maybe settle down there. But somehow, I knew I would not be able to find a job in the field that I'm interested over there, so I decided against it. Until now I have no regrets. But there is still an occasional echoes of 'what-ifs' at the back of my mind.

Oh well, I guess I shouldn't be too greedy. I have a job that I love, living in a town that I'm growing to love. What more can I ask for, except maybe a good-looking, smart, funny, with a body-to-die-for hottie who is crazy about me? Is that too much to ask? ;)

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Crushes.... Be still, o my fluttering heart

Recently I met this cute guy whom I had such a crush on. He worked as a waiter in a restaurant near where I was staying (Seriously what is it with cute waiters?! Evil restaurant owners tempting us like that!) So there I was, having my dinner, minding my own business, and suddenly this hottie just sailed by and totally captured my attention. I was literally staring at him for 5 minutes.

He was definitely my type, lean built, average height, with those Jap/Korean good looks, complete with a nice bubble butt. *Swoon* I was smitten.

He wasn't in-charge of my table, so that was a major disappointment. I got this aunty waitress instead. Hrmpph....

Anyway, I was stealing glances at him every now and then, like a teenage school girl. I couldn't decide whether he was playing our field or not, since I was born without the stupid gaydar that everyone else seemed to have. Since he wasn't serving my table, I had no idea how the bloody hell I was to strike a conversation with him.

So after the meal, after I had decided I had ogled him enough for one night, I paid the bill and left. On my way back, I realized I left my phone at the restaurant. So I rushed back and saw him closing the restaurant. Before I could open my mouth and ask him about my phone, he said to me, 'hey you left your phone here just now,' gave me a smile, (he had dimples! *melted*), and returned it to me. I was so shocked that he knew who I was, that I literally couldn't think of anything to say. I just thank him and ran off. STUPID.... stupid... stupid... stupid...... That was THE perfect moment to talk to him right?!  And I blew it.

I'm definitely going back there to stalk him, in a non creepy way. Perhaps snap a couple pictures for you guys to cuci mata? Is that too creepy?  

I'll take one of these to go please.

Yes that's perfect!

Damn, Betty, mind sharing them?

Losing my virginity...

I know what you think. That is NOT what I'm writing about. Haha... I can so hear the disappointed moan of "Noooo....." from you guys out there. If you think this is about sex, then go wash your brain with a bottle of bleach my friend!

This is the virgin post for my blog. My First time. So you can say that I kinda lost my virginity here, in a literature sense. So nothing about sex here. Tak ada. Mei you. (Ok so maybe a little bit about sex in the later posts. Happy? Haha...)

What triggers my sudden enthusiasm to create this blog? I don't know, maybe it's the narcissistic nature in me that thinks people care what I write. I used to hear people say that there's a little part in everyone that wants to be an author, but only so few can achieve any amount of success in the world of literature. I guess with this little space of mine, I can maybe pretend that I'm one of those many starving authors.

Another reason may be because I read so many blogs from so many gay bloggers in Malaysia, or Malaysian in overseas, that inspired me to put some of my thoughts in this cyber world. I'm really impressed by how beautifully this bloggers can write, and with so much sense of humour. I died laughing at so many of their posts. Some of them include J-boy, Malimo, Leo Nut, Rotiboy, and so many more!

I'm a closeted gay. I'm so far into the closet, sometimes I wonder how would I ever find my way out of it. I mean, if the real world is like the stories of Narnia where I can come out from the other side of closet into another magical world, it would make my life a whole lot easier. But I guess there are too many people like us out there on the same freakin Titanic cruise.

I don't plan to come out through this blog. Or in real life. At least not in the foreseeable future.

I hope one day I will have the courage to come out from the closet and walk proudly on this earth as a gay man. But for now, let me freakin stay in my closet!